I have just finished watching a movie called “Suck” http://www.suckthemovie.com/ One of its main draw cards seems to be appearances by such ‘Cultural Icons’ as Alice Cooper, Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop, and Henry Rollins. The movie is marketed as a ‘Comedy’ about Vampires, but ‘Mistress Savannah is not amused’. Now, before I write further, I shall preface this Blog entry by saying that the friend who suggested that I watch it warned me that it was, to use her words, “Really, really bad”. I do not blindly follow my friends’ opinions about such things but, in this instance, I was glad that I received that warning. My friend was right.
“But Mistress Savannah, it starred Alice Cooper, and Iggy Pop, and …!!!”. Yes, it did. But look at it from this perspective. If one were to replace these ‘cultural icons’ with unknown actors then, would the movie have been worth watching at all? If you answered “No!” to that question then why do you think it was worth watching because it did contain appearances by these famous persons? Because it did?! If you just wanted to catch a glimpse of these actors and musicians there are plenty of other ways that you could have done so. Just because a film’s cast includes a celebrity of some kind does not automatically make it worth seeing. How did an appearance by these celebrities advance the plot? Why were they chosen over other actors? What makes the movie worthwhile as a form of entertainment? What was its message? “Ok. Fair enough Mistress, but it was about Vampires!“. Again, yes it was, but my questions to you remain similar. Why were Vampires chosen over another species? What makes the movie worthwhile as a form of entertainment? What was its message?
Its message was quite clear, as far as I am concerned. Its message was; “The public is so enamoured of the Vampire at present that the topic is guaranteed to produce a lovely black ‘bottom line’. Hell, it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be about Vampires“.
Of course, if I was in the mood, I would critique the film from an in-depth literary perspective and include footnotes and academic references, but I am not in the mood, it would turn this Blog entry into a dissertation, and most of it would be lost on the casual reader.
My point is that humans love Vampires right now. And, when one is newly in love, it is quite common to overlook flaws that will become serious irritations once the ‘blood coloured glasses’ are shattered. There are some incredibly good texts and films about Vampires around. I am not saying that all of these depictions are shite but, when the public is prepared to spend their money on ‘anything at all with vampires in it’, then humanity is being exploited for every cent that can be grabbed from their pockets, purses, wallets, and bank accounts.
Don’t get me started on the “Twilight” series. Just don’t. Don’t get me started on “Vampire University”, “The Vampire Diaries”, “Vampire Academy” or any other such dross either! Instead, I have another ‘case in point’ for you; a non-fiction book called “Allure of the Vampire: Our Sexual Attraction to the Undead”, by Corvis Nocturnum http://www.amazon.com/Allure-Vampire-Sexual-Attraction-Undead/dp/1448658942 This book contains an interview given by one of my friends. Now, not only was she misquoted in the text, but the book went on sale filled with spelling errors, grammatical faults, missing footnotes, entire paragraphs that appeared to be written as nothing more than notes that an author jots down to go back to and structure correctly later, and a myriad more errors that would have been picked up by an editor and, failing that, a proof-reader! It came across as a first draft that should never have been published while still in that condition. And yet it was published. And, guess what? People bought it! People bought a book that had been published in that state. Unbelievable! Seriously. But it was about Vampires, so who cares? “I must have it! I can’t get enough!”.
Right now, humans appear to be feeding on Vampires in a way that could be described as a veritable ‘feeding frenzy’ that no ravenous pack of Vampires could ever hope to match. It could be argued that humanity’s own ‘blood lust’ for the Vampire is far less discriminating, and far more powerful, than a Vampire’s lust for human blood could ever be!
What happened to a sense of discernment? What happened to ‘quality’ over ‘quantity’? What happened to people’s ability to think and …oh yes, you’re reading this at the moment because this Blog entry has the word ‘Vampire’ in it.
I shall sit back and watch my blog stats soar now! sigh.