For a while now I have made comments here and, most recently on Lucifer Lazerus’ Manifesto: http://luciferlazerus.com/Manifesto/wordpress/youre-doing-dumb-shit/, that state that I have a problem with persons who do not keep their word.
Now, I have always had a problem with such persons but, until today, I have kept my comments generalised out of an inherent sense of common courtesy to a person who has not shown me the same courtesy in return.
Well, it ends today.
This post will finally bring clarity to my previous blog entries on the subject, and let it serve as a warning to anyone who is either looking at entering the Professional arena of the Adult Entertainment Industry, or is already involved with it!
I do not often speak about my experience in the BDSM realms here on this Blog of mine. I do not find it necessary to do it here in this space. This Blog is my own personal part of the Internet, and I write on a variety of topics here. Those who know who I am know why I don’t need to write on the subject here at all. I have been involved in the subculture for 25 years. My experience, knowledge, and contacts are vast. I am no ‘unknown casual player’ who does not know one end of a flogger from the other, either!
Rather than go into any great detail about ‘earned due respect’, ‘etiquette’, and ‘hierarchy’ as it applies to the BDSM arena, I will just strip this entry down and write it in a way that even the casual reader with no knowledge of BDSM will comprehend.
Now, while it is certainly true that I have been disrespected in a way that shows very bad form within the Kink community, I have also been disrespected as a person in my own right; minus the fancy title of “Mistress” and all the accoutrements and meanings that go along with such a term.
In June of this year I was offered the opportunity to become a part of a project in the Kink community that appeared to show great promise at the time. My airfare was arranged as part of a business contract after my skills and knowledge were put forward, and I received an email from a man whose ‘word’ was sound (according to him) in which it was stated that it would be “a pleasure” to fly me out and that this person looked forward to this contact being “the beginning of a very long relationship” between us. The author of that email also told me that he would “be in contact in the next few days” to discuss the project in more detail with me.
Please note the date that I referred to in the previous paragraph? June of this year. It is now November 18th in my part of the world and no further contact was made. None. No, just a great deal of excuses given to everyone else but me, as to why the project was still not happening. I did not even warrant being ‘kept in the loop’ (not that there was much of a’ loop’ there to begin with as it turns out!) and I was meant to be an integral part of this project! To make matters worse, the author of the email is a well known businessman in the Adult Entertainment Industry. We are not talking about an amateur, or someone new to that Scene, here.
Let me give you an analogy to work with, to explain my point. This treatment is akin to booking a well known actor for a role in an upcoming film. The actor makes the necessary arrangements,clears their schedule, and prepares; and suddenly production is held up for months at a time, yet no one has the common courtesy to keep the actor, or the actor’s agent, informed of events, delays, and what is being done to rectify the situation. Unbelievable!
Here is another analogy. This treatment is also akin to landing a job with a business that is scheduled to open in a month’s time. You make arrangements, are informed that you will be contacted in a day or two, and wait to be told when you are due to show up for your first day of work. There are delays in the business’s launch, and you are not informed of this by anyone involved. Unbelievable, too. And yet, in my situation, these analogies illustrate a situation that I have actually found myself in, in a far too believable way.
The only reason that I knew what was occurring was thanks to someone who was kept abreast of events, and passed the information on to me because he is an ethical man, with sound personal integrity, and is very dear to me. It was not expected of him to keep me informed; he is not my agent! No, he chose to do this for me. It was not his job to keep me informed. No. Mr Businessman himself or one of his staff, at worst, should have been given that particular task. And yet, I did not hear from any of them.
And now for the proverbial ‘icing on the cake’. Mr Businessman, who has filled my dear friend’s ears and inbox with excuses for months now is suddenly doing something that puts him in their physical vicinity. Does it have to do with the project being discussed here? Does it have to do with actually meeting with someone for the sole purpose of discussing the problems with the project, and making the situation right? Oh HELL NO! Mr Businessman is flying to my friend’s part of the world because he wants to indulge in some carnal pleasure with the woman of his dreams as soon as he can get himself and his manhood to the right part of the continent!
He has shown far more interest, motivation, and personal integrity when it comes to having his own lusts met than he has shown towards a business venture of his that he ‘gave his word’ on, and signed contracts on, into the bargain.
If this is the way that business is conducted these days, I am surprised that there are any companies, jobs, businesses, or corporations on the planet that manage to exist. Oh. Hold on. Maybe they do manage to exist because they contain persons with the ability to prioritise in ways that do not involve their genitals, keep to the contracts that they write and sign, keep their word, and treat those who work with and for them as deserving of at least a modicum of respect!
You have treated me in an absolutely appalling fashion, Mr Businessman, and please note that, even now I am showing you more courtesy than you ever showed me by not just naming you and your company outright in this Blog entry.