The Year’s Close.

This is the second year running that I have not been out on a field somewhere, preparing to do a fireworks display to bring in the new year.

And so I sit here and think on where I was this time last year.  In a few hours from now, a year ago, I was preparing to speak to a little boy in America who counted in the Australian New Year with me and was the first to wish me a “Happy New Year”. I thought it was one of the most touching things that I could have done back then.  He seemed really excited at the time, not least because of my strange accent.  I remember telling my son what I had done.  My son, at his most cynical, had responded with “Mum, please. He’s a little kid. It’s no big deal. He’d be excited if a fucking butterfly flew into the house!”. Thanks son.  Yep.  Way to go.

I went on to meet that little boy in person a few months later and, while he will never hear me say “tomato” ever again, I do wish him well.  He is a truly lovely boy and I do not hold it against him that I could not say the same thing about his father in the end.  His father’s actions were the first of what turned out to be a string of betrayals, cruelties, and losses that have peppered my 2011. I have no real interest in discussing that child’s father now. It is done and dusted, and I am glad of it now, after what was said and done.

When the clock struck midnight in the US, I saw the ‘New Year’ in again, with an awesome man, indeed. Marty the Marine and I toasted our respective Grandfathers who had fought in the First World War.  It was such an honour to spend that time with such a fine individual.  Marty, I will never forget those hours or those communications.  Thank you again for sharing that time with me.  It will remain a treasured memory for the rest of my days and I wish you well again, dear man, at the close of yet another year.

My life this year has been unlike any other before it, and I think about it now in some kind of awe.

With two trips to the US under my belt now, I have truly broadened my horizons.  I love America. I really do.  To have seen so many beautiful things, and to have shared so many incredible times there is simply gorgeous to me.

Ah, if only all of it had been good.  But without the bad we don’t appreciate the joy to be found in what is good.

The second loss that I experienced came with the death of my father in June.  It is hard to comprehend that over six months have now passed since my dad left this Plane of existence to continue his journey elsewhere.  I miss him still. I always will.  An incredible man leaves an incredible loss and there is an incredibly big “Maxie the Magnificent” shaped hole where my dad used to be.  I love my dad and always will.  They do not make ’em like my father now.

The loss and betrayal did not stop, even as the amazing adventures and beautiful experiences continued.

A friend of almost 20 years tossed my friendship away like a discarded junk wrapper. I was obviously past my use-by date and my ‘rants’ as I grieved and I vented over despicable acts were not something she was prepared to accept, understand, or tolerate.  I was traded in for a ‘new model’.  I had thought she learned her lesson when she got sucked in by a frog.  This time she fell for a toad. 

Next on the list was a betrayal so evil that it defies description.  The theft of  almost all of my belongings, my home, and my cat sealed the list of betrayals this year.  My son’s baby things and the mementos I had kept from his childhood were thrown out in my absence by a despicable creature that I took into my home when she had nothing at all and faced life on the streets.  Even the paintings on this website have been stolen and destroyed.  I sit here now with very little in the way of material possessions at all; a refugee of sorts, devoid of possessions and home. I will speak no more of this creature, here. Karma awaits, along with a great deal more ‘fun times’ in her future…

But I sit here now and I think of what I have gained, not simply what I have lost.  I met the worst of people and the best of people in 2011.  This cynical bitch is surrounded by some mighty fine people now.  I met far more incredible individuals than the atrocious ones I endured.

I have so many beautiful memories now; and my real family and friends are with me now.  Their generosity, their love, their kindness, their help, their company, and their laughs make up for the pain.  You know who you are and I love you to bits. I really, really do.

And I sit here now curled up in the arms of love;  a love so immense that I can find nothing to use when it comes to potential descriptors. We are so happy, so content, so complete, that I cry from the utter peace I feel in these arms.

If I were on that field tonight I know that I would paint that sky with coloured flowers full of love and joy for those that matter.

And, as this incredible year closes I can’t help but smile, in spite of the ‘roller coaster’ I have ridden this year.  WHOOO-HOO what a ride!

I do not know what will come in the days ahead, but I look at the smiles and the love that I breathe and I look forward, indeed, to a

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

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Filed under Observations on Life and the Universe as I See it.

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