The world has a new religion; Hoaxism. People of Earth let me introduce you to your new god ‘Hoax’. Hoaxism has taken the place of older religions as contemporary society’s new crutch. Hoax has a son. Hoax’s son’s name is ‘Conspiracy’. Don’t believe me? Watch this…
‘Crop Circles’: “Oh, that’s a hoax. It has been proved that some fools somewhere got a plank of wood and squashed some foliage to make it look like unusual shapes were appearing in crops everywhere”. Hmmm, how do you explain the altered molecular structure of the affected plants in some rather intricate crop circles that have been subjected to scientific study? “Oh, that! That is a government conspiracy to keep the populace scared and enable ‘The Illuminati’ to further their plans for total world domination”.
‘UFO’s’: “Oh, they are hoaxes. The number of these things that turn out to be nothing but fakes is incredible. I can list countless examples of UFO’s that turned out to be nothing but weather balloons, or people manipulating photographs and videos. UFO’s are just hoaxes”. Hmmmmm, what about the documented evidence from military personnel, and members of various branches of Aviation, along with testimony from otherwise completely sane citizens who risk ridicule to tell others what they have seen? “Oh. Those people. They are all part of a conspiracy to keep us scared and enable governments to control the populace through fear. The rest of them are just, well, you know, ‘not right in the head’ if you know what I mean?”.
‘Global Warming’: “This is a hoax. The weather is always changing. My great-grandfather once said that there was an ‘unseasonable tornado’ in his part of the country over one hundred years ago. Strange weather is nothing new at all and people will believe anything. It is a hoax”. Hmmmm, so significant changes in the world’s weather patterns, an increase in tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural phenomena to the point where even conservative scientists are speaking out does not concern you? “No. It is a government conspiracy involving the use of HAARP technology in order to provide an excuse to instigate Martial Law so that The Illuminati and the Aliens who pretend to be humans can further their plans for world domination”.
‘Strange Cloud Formations’: “This is a hoax. Photoshop! I don’t need to say any more”. Hmmm, so photographs taken by people who do not have that software and who would have no idea how to use it if they did have somehow managed to capture images that are automatically digitally altered by their cameras? And I am not sure that Adobe has managed to perfect their software packages to the point that they can affect what the human eye sees when it is not behind a lens or in front of a computer. “Oh, that! They are all part of a government conspiracy using HAARP technology and chemtrails to alter the world’s weather patterns and create a series of natural disasters that will enable Martial Law to be instigated and will finally give The Illuminati a chance for Total World Domination”.
‘Strange Sounds Heard in the Sky’: “That is a Hoax! The sounds are all from video games and ‘Godzilla’. It is part of a viral marketing campaign put out by Hollywood and is a massive hoax!” Hmmmm, so the neighbours, half a country, and half a world of persons who have all heard these strange sounds recently and have no ties to ‘Hollywood’ at all are what? “Conspiracy theorists. They have nothing better to do than play on the fears of the people. The sounds are produced by HAARP technology and are all part of a government plan to implement Martial Law and give the Illuminati a chance to take over the world”.
Interesting. ‘Hoax’ allows you to sleep well at night doesn’t it? ‘Conspiracy’ explains the inexplicable quite nicely. Hoax and Conspiracy have just enough menace about them to provide a pale comparison to the Old Testament Yahweh and just enough ‘peace of mind and tranquillity’ to provide a pale comparison to the New Testament ‘Christ’ don’t they? Hoaxism allows you to continue to do completely stupid things, safe in the knowledge that no harm will come to you as long as you know Hoax exists. Besides, Hoax’s son, who came here to ‘spread the word of Hoax’, provides all the answers you need doesn’t he?
Hoax and Conspiracy have replaced Science now. Science is coming up with far too many uncomfortable suggestions for what could be going on with regards to this planet. ‘Quantum’ is downright terrifying isn’t it?!
So, let’s turn to our new comforting crutch: “Hoaxism” because it takes an incredibly strong mind to contemplate the very real possibility that things like crop circles, UFO’s, screwed up weather patterns, and strange lights, sounds, and clouds in the sky could maybe, just maybe be exactly what they are!
Think about it. Go on. Think about it. Put aside ‘science’, ‘hoax’, and ‘conspiracy’ for a moment and really think. What if none of these things has a ‘common sense’ explanation, is not a hoax, and is not part of a conspiracy of some sort?
Scared yet? It’s okay. Pray to ‘Hoax’. Hoax will always answer your prayers.