Today is not a good day. I just had a nurse friend tell me that a person’s level of ‘resilience’ will keep them from ending up with PTSD. The unspoken criticism was that I and fellow sufferers were somehow weak because we ended up with this monstrous condition.
Let me tell you a little about ‘resilience’. We end up managing to survive a trauma above and beyond what persons are reasonably expected to endure. We did not die! We managed to survive when it mattered and had the smarts to continue existing. We did not get this way because we were not emotionally and mentally robust enough to handle our particular Hell.
Resilience? Yeah. I have it in spades. It includes the ability to continue to live in spite of the flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hyper-vigilance, social isolation, lack of trust, nightmares, triggers, and that is before I get out of bed. While some of you have no greater worries than what you are going to cook for dinner, or whether or not you really should join a gym, individuals like myself are wondering all of that and living our daily lives with all the rest of the shit going on in the background.
So before you decide that we were just not resilient enough bear in mind that PTSD is the result of being strong in a monstrous situation until we were out of that situation. And the fact that the thing didn’t kill us should stand as a testament in its own right to just HOW fucking resilient we ARE. I live like you do, while dealing with all the horrific symptoms on top of the stresses of everyday life. Do not think to tell me I am not resilient or that if only I’d been stronger I would have been okay. Blaming the victim is never okay. I know that personally because I already do that to myself daily.